I’ve been struggling with an anxiety disorder for a long time. There were countless trips to the doctors doing blood tests, trying heart monitors and being told nothing is wrong and it is merely my hormones making me feel the way I was. My mother was as unhelpful as the doctors, but only because she didn’t understand the way I felt. Fear would rush through my body over nothing, leaving me feeling sick and exhausted. There isn’t enough out there for people to understand what mental health really is.
I draw to help cope with my phobias. I fear walking into places where I don’t know anyone, I fear I will embarrass myself by fainting or falling over something.
I’m currently studying at Central Saint Martins in London. The experience has been awful for me as it is so isolated, yet it’s in the one of the most amazing cities. I’ve grown to fear almost everything in my day to day life and avoid anything that could embarrass me. The whole time I have felt I am the only one who feels this way when in fact, from outing my problems I have found that I’m not alone. It was scary as I didn’t want to say it and feel embarrassed for doing so, but it has really helped to talk about it and I think that is exactly what everyone else suffering needs.