Dear Bbygirl/Awa
Wow we are still breathing. Despite that depression that hit you hard at a young age, those thoughts and feelings that made you believe you weren’t going to make it or that you weren’t good enough. We are still waking up trying to do better, be better and lead with love no matter what hurt you’ve experienced. Despite the overthinking that can sometimes get too loud, you still manage to hear beautiful melodies in your head that hold the potential to give you wings.
I want you to know that your effort every day is more than enough! You are such a bright light and deserving of everything good coming your way. Stand your ground and be proud of who you are. I love that you are so fearless but yet so kind, so strong yet so fragile, you take pride in feeling all of the feels, because you care. You care so much, about people, about your craft, your family, life, love and giving. But be careful, because sometimes you give too much without receiving the same care from others. Oh, bbygirl you are going to experience some tough situations that are going to show the true colours of people, some friends will not show up in the way you would for them. You will go through a few heart-breaking months dwelling in the disappointment of being left to deal with the broken pieces of something you didn’t cause alone. You will make some unloving choices that don’t really fit in to the recipe of who you really are, but that’s ok.
In this process you will learn that’s its ok to feel anger and love at the same time even if it’s confusing. You will awaken to the strength of going within and finding your own peace, in your own time and letting things go. You no longer view that statement as a sign of weakness, for you it’s now empowering to be able to choose you first, cause if we are being real, stop giving a f**k about the unnecessary stuff that might circle around you. Focus on your love to yourself and the rest will follow.
Oh, and I love that you started talking about it, that pressure on your chest that just wouldn’t go away no matter how much you worked out or showed support to other people, that anxiety that took a full-on residency in your chest. You no longer fuel it, the anxiety that washed over you in the beginning of your twenties, you’ve become best friends with it, I mean at least good friends. You don’t hang out with this friend that much anymore; it doesn’t consume you in the way it used to. Sometimes it knocks on the door and that really sucks, but when it does you allow it to be there, observe it and then shut the door. I love that it doesn’t define you. I know that you are finding the balance and its possible that it might be a lifelong journey but you are not scared of it and you know that you have the perfect tools within yourself to be your own hero.
I am proud of you for being able to admit when you are wrong and choose to learn from it and grow as a person. I love that you try to stay on top of your mind and view things from the bright side at all times. I love how you show up for the people you love, you are so loyal baby. I adore that you have the guts to say no to things that don’t feel warm and fuzzy, I love that you work hard and stay so grateful for the wonderful people that are around you.
I am smiling looking at the woman you are becoming, what a catch! Share your strength and vulnerability with the present moment, that’s the best place to be. Don´t you worry, everything always works out and I promise you that EVERYTHING you want will come your way, let it flow and only compare yourself to who you were yesterday. I am going to say Ýessss b**ch` to all the crooked choices you’ve made as some may view it, because you gave yourself opportunities that got you one step closer to your dream each day. You, a young woman living in London have a loooooot to look forward to. I think you kind of got your shit together and you don’t have to choose between a successful career and a happy, healthy mind and life filled with love. You are figuring out the perfect balance, just do you boo and don’t EVER stop leading with love and kindness. I know that you will get to build that empowering empire you’ve always dreamt of and that you get to see people flourish with you. I believe you will bring out a positive and impactful message into the world through whatever bpms and word constellations you may choose. You are a sassy, sensitive, beautiful singing bird! The future looks bright and I know you will be equally as brilliant at being a singer, entrepreneur, friend, human and eventually a mom as long as you stay true to and commit to the love for who you truly are. Be unapologetically yourself.
Nobody can love me like I do
xx Awa
