Dear me,
I’ve written this letter a million times to you. Though, admittedly most of those have been against my will and forced upon me by many a mental health professional. I will also admit, that I do always feel a great catharsis from doing it.
I wish time travel was real so that I could pass on all that I’ve learnt about us over the years. I also know you and know that you wouldn’t listen to me anyways because you’re beautifully stubborn and in love with destruction and chaos. But I wish you knew that the chaos isn’t necessary to create art. I do have to say thank you though. Your pain has become my prose. Life now is a million miles away from what you’re living in. It’s boringly great. But what you’re facing and all of what you’re wading through has made for so many amazing songs. You do in fact make it out of all this turmoil alive. More than that, you’ve risen out of it like a phoenix from the ashes.
I know it’s hard to hear but right now, you’re the only person who is holding you back right now. No one’s out to get you. Your fear of failure is actually the exact same thing as the fear of success.
I know you don’t believe me but you don’t have to tear yourself down, time and time again to make changes. They can be small incriminates. You don’t have to become a new person overnight.
I mentioned it before but you’re so stubborn. I want to say thank you for this. Otherwise, we would’ve given up a million times. When people told you to quit, it worked better than a compliment. You see it as a challenge and not an insult. I wouldn’t know where we’d be right now if it wasn’t for this. Thank you for not withering away like the delicate flower they once believed you were.
Thank you for your vulnerability. I could learn a lot from you today. You once so freely let your guard down to allow others in. Flattered in the fact they cared. If I could find the middle ground in your blind naivety and my overly defensive self now, that would be great.
I know that I’m far from perfect now. But I sure as hell wouldn’t be the strong, thick-skinned and kind person today if it wasn’t for you. Thank you for your perseverance. I wish you knew that you were loved and how amazing you are but one day you will.
Ps. We can look in a mirror now without wanting to cry.
