Good Asian Girls
Daddy says, good girls
Good Asian girls
floss their teeth twice
the words come out
The first time I said “fuck”
Auntie disowned me,
cried “embarrassment!”, “dishonour!” –
sewed the words on my back
in red, packed the dust which settled
on my bed, and since then I learned
to breathe in monotones.
stashed behind the altar.
But I was never hers or his.
This filthy mouth never belonged to anyone,
not even myself,
and now it wants to say:
“The word “fuck” feels more
familiar than a parent’s love.
Some days I swear that I am good enough,
asian enough, poet enough.
Most days my father is right.”
It wants to preach:
“I bleed eucharist wine and cuss
for the hell of it. And so what
if nobody believes in me?
My body is the New Testament,
and I will fucking rise again.”
It wants to rap:
“My pussy tastes like fine-dining
and honeycomb dripping with malice,
a deity surpassing all religions.
My pussy is the prodigal daughter
never coming home.”
Bio: Sade Andria Zabala is the Denmark-based Filipina author of poetry book WAR SONGS. Her writing has appeared on Words Dance, cahoodaloodaling, Up the Staircase Quarterly, and more. Find her at: instagram.com/sadeandriazabala or facebook.com/sadeandriazabala.