it’s past midnight; wrapped in my pale lilac floral pajamas i’m staring at the ceiling drowning in emotions that don’t want to leave my body. it’s dark and quiet, the kind of silence i hate as i can hear my train of thought echoing in my head. so loud, so noisy. now that i’ve gotten into a transition time after graduating from university, i’m placing too much energy on the future that makes me feel more anxious, laden with feelings of regret for not doing enough in my life. everyone’s competing and trying to win life and i feel like i’m not even in the race. i’m unsure of most things except what makes me feel happy — drawing and painting. sometimes life feels so overwhelming that i just want to cry until nightmares and pains would stop haunting me but i know in my heart, i’m going to make bigger and meaningful impacts through things i’m passionate about.