After my parents separated during a heartbreak of my own when I was around 20 years old, my whole vision of love was shattered. Long story short: I closed myself off, built up emotional walls to ‘’avoid getting hurt again’’ and became very cynical while also secretly yearning to be in a loving and healthy relationship. Fast forward to today and I am deep down into exploring my own vulnerability and redefining intimacy.


What happened in between? Well, lots of inner work and unlearning.


I started therapy, I read countless books about relationships and human connection, I fell in love, cried, broke up, learn a shit ton about myself and my needs, I watched hours and hours of videos on love and most importantly…I opened up and started a dialogue with myself and people around me about the definition of intimacy and vulnerability within ourselves and with others. Overall, I developed a deep curiosity and passion for that topic which I started to infuse more and more in my work as a photographer.


I get it, being really intimate, open and vulnerable with someone is scary as shit. It’s a risk to take. When I was younger, I thought that one day you’d entered a relationship and that’s it. There would be no need for work, no growth necessary and that all your insecurities would magically be fixed. I also falsely thought that intimacy was only associated with sex and that once you had that physical connection with someone the rest would follow right away. 


It took me time to realize that vulnerability is a powerful tool for connection and healthy intimacy. It’s a courageous and beautiful act that creates a sense of safety between two complex human beings.


In an attempt to remind myself of the many forms and nuances of intimacy, I made a list (non exhaustive of course) of what it can feel/look like. In moments of uncertainty, feel free to refer back to this list…and don’t forget to be patient with yourself. 


  • A tender kiss before rushing to work 
  • Stopping by the drugstore to get tylenol for your partner’s headache 
  • Talking about your painful childhood memories 
  • Talking about happy childhood memories 
  • Asking for help 
  • Being open about our fears and insecurities without being afraid that the other person will use them against us 
  • Nurturing ourselves with alone time 
  • Volunteering to do the dishes just to let the other person rest 
  • Compassion
  • Going to therapy together 
  • Sending a meme (or multiple one in a row)
  • Offering help when you sense the other person is overwhelmed 
  • Practicing self-care 
  • Talking until 2 in the morning because conversation is just flowing 
  • Saying ‘’ I am here for you ‘’ 
  • Weird inside jokes 
  • Healthy boundaries
  • Being open to growth  
  • An encouraging butt tap 
  • Regularly checking in and not taking each other’s feeling for granted 
  • Making an effort to speak your partner’s love language 
  • A warm hand on your belly when menstrual cramps are hitting hard
  • Saying ‘’I’m sorry’’ 
  • Expressing your needs and being met with understanding
  • Being (and always staying) curious about the other person 
  • There is no need to prove yourself 
  • Showing up for your partner 
  • Showing up for yourself 
  • Healthy conflict and capacity to recover from it
  • Simply listening 
  • Openness to different sexual needs 
  • Commitment