Anxiety

A shiver of cold that makes me want to quit it all An inside voice that says “you’ll never be good enough” A worrisome feeling you can almost touch - you can see it moving from the outside of your stomach Is everyone doubting me or is it me feeling inadequate? Mind reading Is it you or is it me? In a constant stare of doubt and mistrust My insecurities have their own voice and they speak for me Like an overprotective mother How to disappear without turning to death Always on the cusp of falling into depth It takes time to get better, or to get used to it It takes its toll It makes you think “I don’t want to be here anymore” But then again I do, oh I really do I couldn’t bare to miss all this Seeing myself as a winner for once Succeeding Will I ever get there? Or are you gonna stop me again? Comparing myself to everyone I’ve met A dagger stuck in a wound The devil on my shoulder is talking shit again Insecurities are looming over, Making up scenarios for me - I believe in Dramatic scripts What a comedic piece this is! Ruining it like this Almost wanting for it to happen, to be real just so I can be right for once, so I can say “I knew, I was right” Sabotaging what I’ve been craving So I can fulfil the prophecy I made up in my own head Undermine - disorient and deceiving my inner bearings Gaslighting it Afraid of ruining everything after a wrong sentence I spoke that time, you probably don’t even remember It’s an ongoing fight Will I ever sleep tight? Self-inflicted Like a siren I sing myself in-to sadness.