see u at 3 pm

It’s Tuesday, I am going to study latin at Daniela’s this afternoon My mom says she can’t take me at her place, it’s 10 minutes walking My brother says I can go on foot, and he gets angry when I say I’m scared He replays that he goes alone on foot since he is 10 He doesn’t get it He puts his headphones on and time flies I start picturing in my mind the scene I have my headphones on but music is turned off If somebody gives me a voice I can hear him, if I don’t maybe he gets mad and I don’t know what will happen At 3 pm, in my small town in South of Italy, there is nobody Just some middle age men who are drunk since 8 am Silence reigns on the street, just some cars I think how I can dress I don’t know if it does make a point, they are gonna stare at me anyway I walk fast When there is a group of men all eyes on me and I lower my head as if I should be ashamed of something Even after I pass them, I can see their eyes on my ass, I have a nice ass, are they appreciating it? I wish I had a flat ass, they would be staring at it anyway I guess it was better if I had other pants, a longer t-shirt, but in that case they would have screamed something like show your ass I don’t smile at them and they tell me c’mon girl smile, as if I knew them, as if I owe them My walk is always faster and I feel the weight of my backpack on my shoulders Since I close the door of my house, I can feel the heart beating faster It calms down just when I arrive at Daniela’s and I have a sip of water It’s just ten minutes But in ten minutes I feel the weight of being a female I wish I was a boy I feel I am not privileged and everything can happen I think to all the women who died coming back home I think to all the young women who don’t feel safe, who call their mothers (or pretend to) I think to all the women who turn around when they feel somebody behind The relief when it’s a woman The anxiety when it’s a man And even if they know they’re innocent We don’t know it We don’t know them My brother doesn’t know that my ten minutes are not his ten minutes So I think today I can study latin on my own I tell Daniela my mom won’t take me there She will understand Women understand women We are the only ones who know how long can ten minutes be