A shiver of cold that makes me want to quit it all
An inside voice that says “you’ll never be good enough”
A worrisome feeling you can almost touch – you can see it moving from the
outside of your stomach
Is everyone doubting me or is it me feeling inadequate?
Mind reading
Is it you or is it me?
In a constant stare of doubt and mistrust
My insecurities have their own voice and they speak for me
Like an overprotective mother
How to disappear without turning to death
Always on the cusp of falling into depth
It takes time to get better, or to get used to it
It takes its toll
It makes you think “I don’t want to be here anymore”
But then again I do, oh I really do
I couldn’t bare to miss all this
Seeing myself as a winner for once
Will I ever get there?
Or are you gonna stop me again?
Comparing myself to everyone I’ve met
A dagger stuck in a wound
The devil on my shoulder is talking shit again
Insecurities are looming over,
Making up scenarios for me – I believe in Dramatic scripts
What a comedic piece this is!
Ruining it like this
Almost wanting for it to happen, to be real just so I can be right for once, so I
can say “I knew, I was right”
Sabotaging what I’ve been craving
So I can fulfil the prophecy I made up in my own head
Undermine – disorient and deceiving my inner bearings
Gaslighting it
Afraid of ruining everything after a wrong sentence I spoke that time, you
probably don’t even remember
It’s an ongoing fight
Will I ever sleep tight?
Like a siren
I sing myself in-to sadness.