Dear 2019 Greta Jean,

It seems like you should be chilled without a tiny rampant bug bulldozing life as you know it, but in reality, I know you’re afraid, stressed, and insecure about your worthiness in university, relationships, and general life. (No offense – I think you’d be happy to know things get brighter, even with a pandemic).

In fact, I’ll give you a roadmap for your next three years.


When life throws lemons at you, duck and cover. While delicious in refreshing summer beverages, they suck to be hit with.

You will do just that, duck and cover, moving home during a time in life you expected to explore the world. In fact, you won’t even leave your house anymore. You’ll worry for the lives of your friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers. You’ll undoubtedly feel a deep sense of loneliness, and lack of belonging.

Without a jump-out-of-the-nest experience, how will you find yourself you ask? You’ll lose yourself. You will have SO much time to reflect on the meaning of your life. Like, SO MUCH TIME. Maybe WAY TOO MUCH TIME. You’ll feel like you lose your sense of left and right, right and wrong, up and down.

But, as you shatter into a million pieces, you can pick the ones you want to keep and drop the ones you don’t. You’ll come up with an eccentric, lumpy sculpture that is yourself, and you will love it sometimes and also sometimes find it deeply irritating. But you will be 1000% certain that this is the version of yourself you chose. You wrote it, proofread it, and published it.


You’ve always been a deeply compassionate person. (Yes, I’ll toot our own horn.) However, somewhere along the road, you decided that compassion for yourself was a cherry on top instead of the vital foundation of a home.

After numerous earthshattering nervous breakdowns, (sending you hugs in advance) you’ll realize that no one can treat you as well as you treat yourself. It’s your NUMBER ONE JOB to WORK to be your own sweetheart, your own daughter, your own boothang, the person you are closest to in the world. As soon as you start showing up for yourself, and backing yourself as you would your own daughter through her ups and downs, her successes and mistakes, the world will crack open for you like a juicy coconut.


Like old cheese, with time, things get funky.

That yoga place you used to go to all the time before the pandemic? It’ll be shut down. Turns out it was a cult after all.

You will spend hours practicing twerking upside down to no avail.
Your friends and family are disturbed by the speed at which you blast through Love Island seasons.

You’ll become odder by the day, and your socializing skills will become fuzzy just like your peach fuzz and warm heart.

This is GOOD! You’ll find JOY in letting yourself out of the cage your insecurities and anxieties unfortunately trapped you into over the years. You’ll feel like you can finally breathe, and let out the string of dad jokes you’ve been harboring since you were 12 and decided they weren’t worthy of the light of day. You will realize that reputation and success aren’t NEARLY as important (or as fun) as making yourself and others smile.

As you unlock this new evolution, your newfound honesty will shine through, attracting a BREATHTAKING community of friends and coworkers, and improving relationships with your family and yourself.

You will embrace the strangest parts of yourself, and along with your groundedness and compassion, they will propel you into spaces and adventures that make you feel alive.

Mic drop.

Stay real (I know you will), 2022 Greta