It’s Tuesday, I am going to study latin at Daniela’s this afternoon
My mom says she can’t take me at her place, it’s 10 minutes walking
My brother says I can go on foot, and he gets angry when I say I’m scared
He replays that he goes alone on foot since he is 10
He doesn’t get it
He puts his headphones on and time flies
I start picturing in my mind the scene
I have my headphones on but music is turned off
If somebody gives me a voice I can hear him, if I don’t maybe he gets mad and I don’t know what will happen
At 3 pm, in my small town in South of Italy, there is nobody
Just some middle age men who are drunk since 8 am
Silence reigns on the street, just some cars
I think how I can dress
I don’t know if it does make a point, they are gonna stare at me anyway
I walk fast
When there is a group of men all eyes on me and I lower my head as if I should be ashamed of something
Even after I pass them, I can see their eyes on my ass, I have a nice ass, are they appreciating it?
I wish I had a flat ass, they would be staring at it anyway
I guess it was better if I had other pants, a longer t-shirt, but in that case they would have screamed something like show your ass
I don’t smile at them and they tell me c’mon girl smile, as if I knew them, as if I owe them
My walk is always faster and I feel the weight of my backpack on my shoulders
Since I close the door of my house, I can feel the heart beating faster
It calms down just when I arrive at Daniela’s and I have a sip of water
It’s just ten minutes
But in ten minutes I feel the weight of being a female
I wish I was a boy
I feel I am not privileged and everything can happen
I think to all the women who died coming back home
I think to all the young women who don’t feel safe, who call their mothers (or pretend to)
I think to all the women who turn around when they feel somebody behind
The relief when it’s a woman
The anxiety when it’s a man
And even if they know they’re innocent
We don’t know it
We don’t know them
My brother doesn’t know that my ten minutes are not his ten minutes
So I think today I can study latin on my own
I tell Daniela my mom won’t take me there
She will understand
Women understand women
We are the only ones who know how long can ten minutes be
